It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I am naked and annoyed.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
