I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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