she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
