so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
