Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
