she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
