You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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