Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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