SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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