I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
