I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
