You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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