she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
