What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
If I die, sorry about rent.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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