oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
The feeling are messing with the penis
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
