In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
