Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
