I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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