he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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