it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
