I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
