She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
