i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
