Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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