I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
