god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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