is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
