then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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