please come you make the beer taste better
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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