mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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