I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
