Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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