I think I died a long time ago.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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