I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
