Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
