Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
