She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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