Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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