you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
There's always time for handjobs
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Randomize
