come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
