we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
