Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
