But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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