threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
