What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
