i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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