She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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