Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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