just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
