We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
