I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Panties = found
Randomize
