There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
