There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
