I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
