Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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