My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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