I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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