Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
