If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
