I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
